Timbre

If I am going to sacrifice the thin gruel of my security, it will not be immediate. I have to cushion my flight to allow my scant resources to offer me the slimmest chance possible to avoid de facto state imprisonment. My family cannot or will not assist, and Liberty, we have been there and back again, is a dead tool, and as long as I have any mind left, I have to reject their paradigm. My emotional investment, and my emotional pain, is about the past. Neither of my former supervisors respected me enough to sit down with me and figure out what the CIL could do to still support me, and no, sitting down to work with Gil Ott, who died in the position that I would have wanted, was not the worst thing in the world, nor the attempted partnership with his actress friend, but I am not Joe D, the lobby consumer, and needed to make a living, one, and two, one of my supervisors is guilty of criminal conduct.

David Harris, a Speakeasy writer who long outlived his usefulness on that community, consoled me years ago by saying I thrive on contention. He is right about that, but not about how my Liberty superiors treated me. Disability centers are not Microsoft or Google at each other's throats in a complex digital interdependency that is so big, their future failure will spell significant disaster.

Federal mandates that make Liberty and all its sister state centers a reality, this is American Marxism in action, and it is a sick system. Surgeons keep replacing parts, much as they do in Vice-President Cheney's chest, but the corruption remains, and the very people this paradigm was designed for wind up suffering. Too many, as in this case, I am not an exception to the rule, and the only thing that can fix it is a Congressional review.

I am taking most of the day off. I am going to read, sulk, and eat chips with black bean dip. I will be back tonight, like Henry Fonda, resurrecting John Steinbeck.
At some point, the fact that centers keep making excuses for malfeasance will ultimately make them unsustainable, and it needs to be addressed at the federal level, whether I live to see it or not-- but my additional issue is this. Griping online is one thing, but mailing letters is another, and quadriplegic or not, I have to plan some kind of withdrawal.