Michael's Pipes

Nothing so infuriates me as a magnate and politician estimated to be worth nearly 45 billion USD grandstanding about commitment to equality as the best pathway to success. Very few people have ever commented on my account, perhaps due to bafflement, but excluding the fact that I maintain the same online access Mayor Bloomberg has, how in God's name am I his equal as an American?

My own relatives want me to go to some quasi-assisted living facility, Blogger wants me to convert to something or other because I'm upsetting the middle class; to volunteer for Pat Toomey I have to groom and haul my carcass to New Wales, which is like putting Stephen Hawking on Star Trek. How am I equal to the ambulatory world? Cough it up people, come on:

A commitment to equality is essential to success. Great to launch @Bloomberg's Gender-Equality Index today. pic.twitter.com/ySTqMwAiJE

— Mike Bloomberg (@MikeBloomberg) May 4, 2016