Thursday, November 23, 2017

Shadow Emissions From Brown Dwarfs

[In spite of his refined sensibility Hyacinth Robinson, the little Soho bookbinder, is condemned, as the Princess puts it, “to look at the good things of life only through the glass of the pastry-cook’s window.”]

I did not know that Oprah was also a sexual abuse victim who miscarried the fruits of the violence against her, and it certainly explains what lurks beneath her vivacious veneer, how she transmutes white suffering with the agrarian cracks in black culture; it nevertheless doesn’t remove the irritants of her telegenic superficiality, and the dowager believes this is what Karina doesn’t understand about umbrage against false friends. I think I had enough of that with my former heroine supervisor, Linda Dezenski, who “didn’t understand what I wanted,” when she let me crash land into a near self-inflicted violence. Discussing ideation is one thing, but the turmoil my former colleagues at Liberty left me in is another, and I could have never truly gotten past what happened to me without leaving River Presbyterian Apartments, and since I haven’t managed that, and keep getting punched in the face, I needed to cast off my former Craigslist hire. Karina saw the reality of my situation. Due to this, with a trace of guilt, I overcompensated her, but had a different set of expectations than consoling phone calls, particularly when I was in trouble in October. I had hoped the peripatetic passer would have stepped up to mitigate the stress of my equipment failure. The cues I read in her voice said no way, so I essentially tossed courtesy out the window, and unfriended her. I don’t necessarily dislike flighty blonds with wobbly centers, but this shallowness is the venial American sin. I would not have these same expectations from a women’s interest author like Gretchen Laskas, though she has been in my department with some of her early writings, because mutual physical support is not the foundation of our relationship. Karina, however, accepted how I defined her, rapidly suggested and then retracted a co-habitation, which, if she had more mettle behind her declarations, would have spared me the equestrian braying cruelty of an asshole like “Tom,” Presby’s contracted Holocaust squad leader. I fault conservatives here too, harder as I am on the left, especially Kaisch with his Downs Syndrome anti-abortion bill. Conservatives fight for our lives, but the majority of us wind up as slaves, constricted chattel, unless we have the peculiar genius of Hawking. It may appear that chronic conditions are harder on the precocious, but making that assumption is laurel resting. The mentally retarded know, particularly when entering into adulthood, that the world perceives the threat they pose. Robert Redford tries to cut through this superficiality within his maturity, almost with the force of preponderance in Majorie Prime. Whatever the flaws in its gravity, the revelation of emotional wounds, this futurist dramatic poem is a devastating condemnation of method acting. To that end it’s rather finely tuned, and probably an affectation in the wake of Paul Newman’s terminal cancer. The middlebrow would say Redford is wise, not engaging in a roman a clef, hiding his intent in subtext, but I have an agenda, going to be gone soon, and take my sacrifices. It could be that James Woods, trailing behind Redford some years, doesn’t have the capacity to read my responses, as his followers have steadily increased. In my case, I know I haven’t taken drops simply due to vulgarity, but I do wince, when my fondness leads me to positive attributes, like a solitaire guru, and I face the risk of more abandon if they become aware, but we all know the price of eggs, how difficult broken yolks are to clean away.

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