Catharsis Resolution

In the aftermath of the bombing, I wrote that I felt pity for Jadar Tsarnaev, and that still holds true despite my anger at Mueller's lack of proficiency. I pity Tamerlan's corpse even while home grown outrage flows in my veins, veins desirous of expatriation and powerless to effect this transition. (Ah, I blaspheme for this dream) I have always been one of those annoying tight asses. Never cheated, never swindled, and this city of my birth has done absolutely nothing but punish me for my efforts to be a straight arrow. My anger may be concentrated on Linda's utter lack of consideration for the games she plays with our limited lives, my former supervisor, but this state insurer is a criminal enterprise, and the suffering Keystone cost me in 2007 when they dropped me after I lost Medicaid cannot be undone. I anticipated cuts in benefits after my mother died and did not care, as I wanted to resume my career, but I did not foresee that Medicare would kill me in order to protect itself from the fact that I depend on durable, functioning power chairs. Krugman, or John the Baptist with a .222 scope rifle, likes to point out that 60% of US healthcare is already socialized medicine, but leaves it to Keifer to fight veterans administration medicine regulatory overload in typical Hollywood point guard fashion.

The punishment my body absorbed from state retraction and federal compliance protections cannot be undone. It may be biopsied, and may be treatable, and may even be partly related to the fact that I am a feline pin cushion, but it can not be undone without impairing me to a point of questionable helplessness, and then the mighty mice progressives wonder at my lack of civility when minority rubes surround me in my doorway with the threat of making me someone else's problem. This is how the Presbyterian protestant exploitation deploys itself in the name of good works?

Putting young Jadar to death solves nothing. American autonomous notions remain threatened, however illusory they may be in fact, regardless of whether or not young Tsarnaev's lethal injection, if it comes to that, emerges as a ludicrous telecast on Good Morning America, so what does the administration of justice ever truly achieve? Have McVeigh's victims been able to heal? Are they satisfied or does our home bred insurrectionist haunt them?

What we hope for, I think, is the retraction of the corruption, and if I can pass away knowing that I have curbed the worst excesses of this segregationist model, I will at least have some measure of peace, even as I search for a new support network. I could try becoming the Rosenbach loon, having finally written their name, but wouldn't that be a test of secular tolerance.

I opened up with the group a little at our last meet, now that closure is coming. They are not so bad. Don't faint. I'll retype it if you want me to reaffirm the majority bipedal species can actually be tolerable.

Active Theatre Rations

Meeks died--thinking the El Serrano Motel looked just like the Alamo. James Ellroy, LA Confidential, pg 6



To augment my brazen temerity, and to object to a simplistic tirade by Jonathan Rauch in the August 2012 kindle edition of The Atlantic Monthly, where Rauch claims that conservative libertarians are not being honest, and that the Tea Party wants to deny health care to the poor, and suggests the right wing wants to repeal this 1986 Act, I am suggesting no such thing, whether due to the cognitive limitations of my uncle's dementia, or certain classes of those sustained with little quality of life in nursing homes.

I have seen horrors in the field, in institutional environments, and in active surgical wards that maybe you have or haven't, and dare to suggest that we begin to make value judgments over who gets more aggressive treatment and who doesn't. The average cost of heart bypass surgery is 60K. My father had many viable and productive years left when he had his procedure. His little brother, with his behavioral disorders, does not, and my aunt's aggressive do everything approach is a misguided drain of resources as opposed to utilizing compassionate palliative efforts. And if that sixty thousand dollars had been invested in giving me the technology I needed in my 30's to give me the most proactive independent environment possible, I would be paying my taxes and have remained a viable and more affluent citizen who could pay her debts. NYT's favorite flatfoot is absolutely correct that the US has practiced socialized medicine for years, but the end result is a horrific nightmare of fraud and sometimes questionable treatment, and what Keystone 65 plus did do me over procuring a power chair from a non-certified rehabilitation facility nearly cost me my life, not that the coordinating jackasses from my favorite center could do more than say "oh, you have to impoverish yourself through spend down!"

It may not be all about me, but what I went through up to 2008 caused me sustained trauma and nearly killed me, and a woman of my intelligence deserved better.