Delayed Pleasantries with Alphabet Subsidies, and Other Quandaries

...this can be achieved only by "carving out" a certain constellation of phenomena.-- Levi-Strauss, Structural Anthropology, p. 285

Having been tested for diabetes a number of times since my burn accident, which occurred during Brenda Williams brief tenure, before the RICHARDSON WARS (and I'm still here, barely, smile), and Williams too, just as Trudy, and Trudy's Gerber foods mentality, cited me for non-compliance, but she was kicked to curb for trying to go after every resident with strict compliance, and I mean strict. The PHA regulatory handbook is probably similar to the nefarious SSA POMs, and you'd be surprised what you'd learn reading the SSA POMs,. It is like a perverse variation of The Empire Strikes Back, the *business* of Social Security, its schemers, petty prison terms, but I have been tested, and told I am not diabetic. Granted that, in recent years, I have catered to cheap snacks and bakery since the 7 Eleven franchise opened. (I took many months become a frequent flyer, as I preferred a bodega further off, but 24 hour service and proximity and vaping supply transformed me into a power chair inconvenience). I am living currently on barely two meals a day, mostly bulk grains and potatoes and legumes, and moved a stool so large Tuesday evening I in fact cannot change the litter until I am sure not to clog, and remain fairly confident my bowel shall kill me before COPD suffocates me to death. Large evacuations indicate diabetes. Perhaps coffee masks it. I've cut down on fish oil, but for my petite stature what impaction does to me is stupendous, now and again.
 My problem with KDP is my uncertainty over formatting, and depending on how much of my output I apportion to being an independent, I have to learn, but I am a writer, journo, small j momentarily hopefully not forever but at my age I am not bucking hot zones. Perhaps there is a story there; what I am not is a designer, and I hope I can link my content page to my text. I really don't know how to do some of these things, and thus far, I have one Amazon guide. We'll see. In my early kindle years the amount of digital dreck worried me, and I do not wish to do that to myself, whatever my kinks, my flaws. I have them, including telling Amazon I wasn't going to buy anymore books due to a seller's delay with Levi-Strauss, and what a feeble threat, as I'm killing myself today to hang onto Prime. I keep grinding away at the conceit, the intellectual pretension, of changing the world through narrative skills, just as The Raw and The Cooked joined into the intellectual ferment of its time, difficult and giddy as an anthropological study as it is. I once believed I had Strauss's acumen, his ability, to invest in such important theses, so I am as egotistical as Roth, on a certain level. I wonder what you think, but then, I assume I already know, even if I cannot say what a detrimental impact my wounded voice has had, I really don't know, but yes, I have crossed lines decency prohibits, and in that, the dying hermaphrodite has gotten the message to engage as little as possible with me. I am working, however, whatever the odds against me, what else can I do? If it takes me until August to hire an attorney, then it takes me until August. And, if I bridle it and repeat like a chant, Google is not the enemy, it is no more than a tertiary issue: I cannot afford pay to play Ad Sense fees, certainly not in July, with a meager effort to put something in my stomach.

Teat of the Roman Legion

Saudi Arabia and three other nations broke diplomatic relations with Gulf Arab state Qatar on Monday, pointing to Doha's ties to terrorism and the need to maintain national security.-- not enough

I am working on a fantasy short story instead of my non-paying jobber, but this is fine. I am beating the jobber in the back of my head while my colon writhes-- which reminds me. I started a bit of a fracas on a Washington Times story slanted against right to die laws, and a progressive took my right to die stance as a liberal position. I may quote the progressive and tell them to go fuck themselves at a future time; another respondent replied "False! If you really wanted to die (yada...) and I may also quote that and tell them to go fuck themselves. My point had nothing to do with suicides per see. My point was no one ever asks is quadriplegia tolerable to the quadriplegic, and we too, just as terminally ill patients in Portland, should have the right to go to sleep and not wake up. I part company, as an atheistic Catholic defender, with the Church on the matter, as most American Catholics disagree with the Church on something. I am closing in on my 56 year, destitute, living on 624 a month and family graft, ready to go to prison for assaulting, harming, after explosively denigrating my building manager who has humiliated me for the ten years she has been on the job, and in order to avoid a jacket for attempting to split the skull of southern descendants of subsistence farmers, I am letting go where I live; no small dilemma. If a once male friend with spina bifida once told me "there are hundreds of Linda's," such as my former manager, there are thousands of Trudy's who'd gladly continue to trample the soul of a superior ability. It is the way of humanity. I am barely able to scarf for penny posts, shouldn't have to; I also cannot beat my biological clock, even if I cannot afford to retire, and the longer I linger and weaken, the greater the chance of more abuse, and I'm chewing grass over a fantasy genre which may go up as a kindle single, merely as an experiment with my first attempt at digital vanity: yes Twitter hawks, you've advised me wonderfully, thank you. I do not like fantasy mainly, yet this took off, and I have alternate endings for it, know what I want to happen, and queried merely one non-responding editor, which was fine. It wasn't ready and may take me another month: I am not an expert on our Bush family Iraq wars, and think the 43rd president had his head stuck up his ass. Our real enemy is Saudi Arabia. It is responsible for Al Qaida, not the Ba'ath of Hussein, and Nato simply doesn't have the balls to propose to Putin and Xi that the House of Saud be deposed, and the charming desert kingdom of Lawrence be partitioned between the three global powers. I have the balls. It is time to hold Mecca hostage, and I will continue to beat this drum, taking a page from Flynn's sensibility to reorient the battleship. The only way to stop Islamic radicalism is to sever its head, and once Arabia is under occupation, threaten Iran. Persia would fold like piss.

Vanities

I have not self-published a manuscript to kindle yet. I do not feel quite confident enough to do so, and do not know if I should, nor what I'm even worth, be it as a poet or columnist. I am also not sure how to ask advice of anyone who has self-published through Amazon's distribution model. I've read complaints on the Good Reads site about delayed commissions, but I only ever had a problem with one Amazon seller, long ago, before I understood how the retail giant is an Intranet unto itself, partnering with other businesses. I have always received payments promptly, however.

I have, this after 34 years as creative writer later journalist, one, mind you, one poetry manuscript of strongest work about ready to go, and I will not tell you how much money I've lost on contest fees and contributor copy support, I who cannot afford to enter all that many to begin with, over the years, with this one manuscript always ready to go, but I've now slowly developed a rhythm for electronic submissions, finally found formula, as it were, even if, my sorry slaving for Examiner aside, my most powerful essay on urban poverty I gave away to a woman named Bianca for her Appalachian area journal which I haven't yet added to my CV because yours truly doesn't know what Karina K did with my contributor copy, and I cannot get this Karina K back on the phone, and the one editor who liked my deaf pitch before that, I failed. And this is the stuff who opines for legacy media, with a select hit list for disabled members of the Philadelphia activist community, except for the fact that I've been published in established media, but not lately, since I am Anthony Elonis with a sometimes more insidious, or entertaining menace, not quite so puerile.

No husband to murder, and my scar tissue has throbbed on past my long ago supervisor's departure, c'est pas? I haven't read Elonis's posts. I suppose he reads like ISIS in an inflammatory state, but if he was writing his *puerile* invective against wife in a journal on paper, would we be here? I am as savage as he is on my bad days, teetering precariously toward brutal, and I mean brutal, institutional indigence. Barring a miracle, I know exactly how much control a nursing home will impose on me if I go from section 202 housing into a Medicaid home. I've lived it and earned a living from it. Established journalists even publish about it these days, and we take out the violins. I very seriously do not want my remaining years to linger in such a circumscribed fashion, and I'm back to submitting poems again, after all this time. I am a fool people, to let a resource center which was never very good to begin with, cause me so much damage, not as if the system offers disability entitlement recipients all that many options.

A Note to Twitter

I discovered this morning that Amazon has a kindle blog publishing app, and this may temporarily circumvent my problems with my failed AdSense investment. I am not going to hyperlink to AdSense because Google directs me to my account. Ignorance is also disabling, as I do not know if Google Blogger cares about my reactionary disobedience, meaning I do not know if I am still an approved client, if Google's break with my first provider had anything to do with the content of those using LiveJournal who were in pain, or if I cannot restore my banners simply because I do not know how to reintegrate my AdSense account with my Google accounts. People would have legitimate reason to see Blogger close me down: I name names, and in today's world, that behavior is not considered free speech, though I am not the first writer who does it, (Joyce, Roth) and I will not be the last, and I have more to come! (Oh no, Harvard and the legal community brace themselves, egads!)

Tackling and restoring my ads is a longer term issue, but tonight I am going to enter the Dark Side of KDP, and we'll see if I come out on the other end, intact. I am open to suggestions as to how much you are willing to pay for me. Kevin Drum is more valuable than I because he can handle economic data. At best, I have only made preliminary incursions, in two years, in that direction, but I will get better at this as long as I remain stable. Am I worth more than a penny?

Chime in if you like, seriously, whether you are disabled or an ambulatory follower. I am as much concerned that I will undersell myself as I am that I over rate the usefulness of my efforts.