Twilight Spaces

"It lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge."-- Rod Serling

Yes, I know people. Let it all go, and I demean my once fine, if wounded, intelligence, by denigrating self'indulgent bitches. It is over. Miss Eddy was vanquished, and the white mental health amputee Sharon who also thought I was a tasty dyke vibe, I will undoubtedly never see again. I am not one of Hillary Clinton's victims of war rape. For the natives of the Congo who managed to migrate out of that horrific scenario, it is over. Not for me.

Minority attendants have been known to be charged with manslaughter, second degree murder, grand larceny. When I was Ms. Dezenski's happier subordinate, I was indelibly impressed upon by fully paralyzed men with horror stories of their apartments being cleaned out while they were forcibly left stranded. I have written a thousand dollars of articles on the subject. My analytic abilities were no surety. And after what I went through after ten years of defying the model, I live in fear of my life.

When I was 23 years old, fresh in exile, I did not utilize paraprofessionals, and battled through a failed career, a miserable life, a complex sense of threat by Ms. Dezenski which I brought on my own head by letting her sow crab grass onto my impending distress (and this was a friendship how exactly, what the mother fuck am I mourning/hating and nearly powerless to vindicate?) to not utilizing them once again, but my strength is shrinking like Gina Torres parrying with Mads, vibrant actress she is, strength that ebbs out of me, like stool mucus. I left television off to work Friday and forgot the second season premiere. Do I watch it now, sleepy, tinnitus buzzing?

Maybe I will find a way to relocate; maybe I won't. I am 52 and shrinking, and I'd rather be euthanized than be turned into an African American trash talking fuck toy, or worse. Diane Babikian, former coordinator manager at Liberty, when I finally got her on the phone, this before the great 2008 layoff, "said ooooooo no," in relation to my coordinator's lack of professionalism, but she also implied that maybe I misinterpreted Eddy's attempted seduction, as if a woman in her mid-forties can't tell when she is being propositioned. If Chris Christie cannot get out of high school, disability centers run on perpetual elementary instruction. 

Dr. George Cruthers was a quack. He had a school, aptly called George Cruthers. He tortured children with cerebral palsy with corporeal punishment. My method of surviving:  throwing a blue in the face squall which moved my fuck up parents enough to withdraw me after one year. Linda C Dezenski was there for seven. Seven years of a would be cultish-like Ron Hubbard. Fortunately Pennsylvania is clueless when it comes to the creation of infamous repressed homosexuals.