Centennial Autumns

"No one is going to put you away!" -- a beloved and weary padre.

The very existence of Presbyterian Homes is predicated upon fungible exploitation of medically dependent people. Trudy Richardson's salary and her hire, as well as Debra Horne's, is predicated upon cut rate assessments, and my own rise and fall through Liberty Resources past the Matrix Research Institute, through the crash of AccessLife, was based on the same premise: use the marginalized themselves to shepherd the flock. My father putting me away under lock and key was no different. Minority women abused me in a centralized institution then, and now everything Trudy does is designed toward containment of my autonomy. She is not merely a rental agent authority, but a collusionist on the cheap, without the requisite training for it, pushes the line daily. In a Toni Morrison novel, a woman like Trudy would be anchored to something psychologically firm through this line of work, as Morrison construes it in Song of Solomon. In my eyes, this is nothing but a travesty. Four black bitches holding the whip through their sense of entitlement, doing a two step on my better diction and resistance to the collective. What is a civil liberty when we grant huge federal exemptions to it in the ownership and maintenance of property?

I once saw section 811/202 housing as a pit stop toward a presumably successful teaching and publishing career. Ha. Instructors themselves are in crisis, whether in secondary or collegiate ranks, and publishing for money is still adjusting to digital conglomeration, and now the cruelty of America's not so secret socialist paradigm is a way of life-- my failure, yes, I boomeranged myself back to the city, turbulent for reasons written in past posts-- but what I was really doing was trying to imitate how my father abandoned me as a nine year old by abandoning myself in an alienating and regressive black culture that over reaches like a high tide and recedes when white anger barks. Without realizing it, I decided to make myself expendable to the permanent welfare class because I wasn't able to pair bond with the appropriately humanist male of a certain type. I cannot undo the extraordinary level of damage to which I've been subjected.

Most likely I can litigate myself out of this insane classification in exchange for another, but we have to change how we regulate public housing. We're destroying ourselves through it. Tenants and warders alike. Trudy has puffed out like a balloon in yellow chiffon, a tell tale symptom one can find in any of Morrison's Southern racists who use rape as a source of amusement.