And then I get angry and make the fucking bed by myself, angry because Karina suggested we could live together and hastily retracted the idea, angry at my sister with her I have everything but nothing woe is me attitude,making the bed a form of fighting back, though my sister and the Presbys would not know this, that I can do a great deal, how zealously fucking strong I am, but rage will not sustain me forever. This was exercise this evening, getting the bed spread on, Vinnie happy and swatting.
If I had taken out a mortgage when I was with Matrix I would have been and gone through foreclosure, as opposed to Presby threatening me with lease violation this and threat of eviction that, like an earthquake and tidal wave, me and this company. What they fear about actually kicking me out is obscure to me, as my lease violations are contiguous, and I want out and what judge is going to care about my civil liberties and the shit the building owners get off with is beyond me. I have started to roar, however, and thrown down my hand, and cannot pretend we're not at an impasse, without any innovative way ahead: I want nothing more to do with 811/202 housing, racking my brains, but I'm dozing off.
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