Big Yellow Taxi

"Oooo, nah nah nah,"  Joni with her back up in the folk era

Mmm. I missed a luncheon date at The Watermark, because I skipped a day, distracted over the Quantum, and upset with Rhett Hackett. I posted to his site that I did not like "being bluffed by liberal bullshit artists," and then tried an email later, and only got a courtesy call explaining his foundation's change of heart; I was trying to be persuasive so that they would understand that if I can do anything with the little time I've left, I want to stop medical model brutality and other forms of violence from destroying women with my ability in the future, but it was a plea for shielding on deaf ears, and if I try this again remind me that I hate liberalism, would you? And I'd imagine there goes any write up as a nice profile piece on New Jersey's mission in life to be the escape haven from New York and Philadelphia. (But we'll allow that to simmer.)

It does matter, the long term affect, despite the fact that it discomfits my sister and brother, I'm still suffering the consequences of being an aggravated assault victim at the hands of Brandon Phillips, just as the treating psychologists predicted when I was on my liberal tether with the defunct Matrix Research Institute, and I feel like a pin cushion for any mode of target practice you'd care to imagine, which is why I do not trust CNA's, even Tim, whom I've known for any number of years-- not in the sense that he'd hurt me, but that he's a welfare player, and will feel smug when the Department of Public Welfare processes me into a Soylent Green wafer. We do not literally cannibalize ourselves, but we're already there, rather late in the day to examine primate controls the primates are placing on themselves without stopping to reflect that risk is necessary, so is disease, and decomposition.

Mitchell, though she falls into my generational nomenclature, might as well be Lady Gaga. I know they are recording artists, but draw blanks. Mitchell was simply recognized as a decorative beatnik, popularizing the Kerouac zeitgeist to always burn the tread on asphalt, warning Madonna in the 80's that the limelight would fade for the Material Girl at some point, never really giving ourselves time to pause, put a break on the controls we inject into and onto our anatomy, to reconsider the industry surrounding the obituary, the underlying avarice we display when faced with the fallibility of mortality. With all the ethics surrounding journalistic integrity, apparently the paparazzi cannot distinguish being comatose from other ailments into a seventieth decade which might lead to fainting spells.

I am very bitter about the surgical aggressions to my body, unlike some, if all it amounts to is cruelty and entrapment in a public housing matrix which is an inhumane forced form of diversity, which all comes down to how and where we invest resources. I might have been perfectly happy, in my late twenties, to live in a small group home, and I mean small, for those who were developmentally damaged but had matriculative ability. I should have been with my peers, not terrorized by the venomous elderly, and what the fuck can I do about it now? Riverfront told me, yesterday, if the Jazzy is seven years old, Medicare would allow me a new one.

Uh huh. I cannot stay at Riverside, and most of you have no idea what equipment acquisition is like with my level of indigence. 

Present at the Creation

Her life with hateful snares pursue,/You swore to love and cherish.

The recollection of Dean Acheson's voice was that of encyclopedic reassurance. He and Franklin were in charge, and the lend lease program would buttress Winston's tenacity to survive the crippling blows of Hitler's aggression, but in the late eighties, stifling boredom, raising the hew and cry of "I am not a historian," the events of the second world war were best left to Ronald Reagan's senility and his Vice President's competence in the Oval Office. We're a stupid people, Americans, letting a third party candidate like Ross Perot split the seams, handing over the reigns to the Clintons, who could not imitate JFK's protective smokescreen, and then lurching, badly, on the basis of our vaunted electoral college, to the Texan branded son of the more astute father, who was so incompetent we anointed a mixed race messiah who, instead of actually being a movement president, relegated himself downward. Barack became the [black] president who engendered [white] buyer's remorse, but we are forbidden to phrase it that way, and Clinton fatigue transmuted into Sex and the City marketing. The *historic* vote should have crowned a woman before a half-Kenyan. Indeed. Hillary is virtually a default empress in anticipation-- of what?

We've been here before. However much contempt I have for our primary two party system, and the centrist, self-absorbed bubba liberals that the Clintons are, the breach of protocol over her email account should serve as a dire warning about how Orwellian we've already become. It is a breach of ethics that the most important member of the cabinet used a private server in her diplomatic correspondence? Classified information, however juicy, shocking, sobering, brutal, or realpolitik, is still data. That is all it is. Threat assessments, secrets about deliberate poisonings, conspiracies, plots. That's it. Whatever Madame Secretary wanted to conceal, she did so for the reasons government officials world over dread transparency. It is nothing new, regardless of ideology. We do not look too closely at how things are run outside of our own spheres of knowledge. The majority of us with our enfeebled souls sublimate it. We write books, distract ourselves with theater, culinary arts. If we were all involved, the world would come to a standstill, much like parliamentary debate in the Oireachtas. IRA guerrillas killed British soldiers so that Ireland's legislators could argue with delicious impotence over the empowerment community integration offers hospital patients who clog facilities for lack of home health care packages.

Are we electing Hillary to a third Obama Clinton term? Or is it the Washington press corp?

Cluck tut tut, Finlandization

Now you're turning me into a viral mother hen. Happy? I want to post a stupid adage, like "don't get old," but behind every nonsensical imperative is a protest, like the pinched faces of the Finnish whose government regulates every aspect of their lives. I cannot speak for the books, but the television adaptation of Jussi Vares says we're far beyond Orwellian. Philadelphia is no more or less than a Soviet regional province, with all its boasts about being the birthplace of American Independence in tow. I was born in this city, and now I'm the new Minute Man, one-armed, ganged on with my fierce, intimidating Roman temper

The White Whale

The conniving bitch finally received the demotion she was to be penalized with under Fern, another stellar Judean witch, fourteen years ago. It had nothing to do with the institutional suborning of Linda's criminal malfeasance. Liberty would be the first to tell you this. Linda Dezenski might have buckled under the pressure, and the poisoned neurosis of my pain over their institutional cruelty is my problem, but to continue to expose to you why their Orwellian behavior is a poisoned pill that needs to be dismantled before it is too late-- the executive titles listed are nothing, a bogus conflation of the sort that the dystopians taught us to worry about, especially Kafka.

Tom Earle lists himself as *CEO* over semantic sensitivity/insecurity, to belie marginalization, but the lie only magnifies what this particular center evades with glaring lack of success: Liberty is a caste system for individuals who do not even merit the status of an oppressed minority. Thomas Earle is not Jamie Dimon. Thomas Earle is a legally blind disability lawyer with squirrel nuts for an excuse, and he is an executive director. Linda was assistant director just shy of 15 years, and got booted back to managing attendant care on the community integration model. Liberty also does nursing home in sourcing. Nearly the same difference, with the institutional racism even more pronounced. It makes me physically sick, literally, that I worked with these motherfuckers, that I allowed them all to denigrate me for so many years as less than human. I take my therapy about it from Mariska, and only recently remembered that if getting access to Jodie Foster as a disability journalist is nuanced with complexity, Hargitay is less so, and I connect with her as a life long victim of sexual assault. Olivia Benson got it twice, as did Sofia Vassilieva's Sarah. Me? I literally cannot give you an exact count, and my only solace is a veteran television actress in a veteran formula who hits the appropriate key notes.

Put this in the context that I cannot get away from the psychological pain of seeing all sorts in the *Liberty Resources* family daily, as a constant reminder. I can never go home again, but that home is little more than a criminally incompetent syndicate, however hollow my stark satisfaction. I know forcing Linda's termination is next to nothing, but what Liberty represents is little better than Daria Cassini's life sentence. What kind of dissidence would you attribute to her?

If I had committed to staying in the academic system, don't suppose for a moment that progressives would not have continued to impede their notions of equality with judgments against me; this too was life long in experience. I have been thinking about solutions for a long time, and in more filler moments, those wheels will grind. In the interim, Nathaniel should send me something to review We all know beauty and the beast, yes?

Rock Hudson and Decoding Double Entendre

With only words to share.
You know that I was born for a night like this.
Born for a stolen kiss.
--Neil Diamond

The ACLU cannot argue that Stutzman was not engaging in a form of political expression when she refused to service these men, and I can also envision her attorneys arguing (as attorneys might for me one day) that those of us hostile to equality on the basis of sexual orientation are minorities whose views one day might need protection from the tyranny of the censor. This is how liberals damn themselves all the time.

I have read revisionists making their bylines decoding Rock Hudson's gay memes against Doris Day in Pillow Talk. The same level of equivocating can be found scripted in Blindfold. I have no doubt this linguistic vibrancy was mourned by Orwell well advanced from contemporary dangers opaque and present. Hitchens said his class took Orwell more seriously than what they were supposed to be  studying. It is difficult, however, not to see Animal Farm as a block of molten lava with a whiff of sulfur making a deadly stench.