A Mission Creep Leap of Faith

I made a bet I’d last another year, despite chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, not quite so fast-acting as necrotizing fasciitis, and placed this dour domain on auto-renewal. It is true Sullivan’s closure of The Dish heralded the death of the blogosphere, as I continue to be less receptive to how he brings his experiences to bear on Trump era controversy. More on that later, while I plod along with no revenue because I write illegal threats I cannot carry out on my own, under no illusions: Even if I attract the crackpot elements, controlling them and creating incentives for enforceable codes of silence is another matter. When Pistorius had currency  in 13, I was unhappily conflicted over the events leading up to his disgrace. On the athlete’s side of the argument, even if he wanted to kill Reeva in a heat of the moment quarrel, he could have thought of a better strategy than “it was accidental” and then bawling himself into a pity party, though this last seems to have worked to his favor temporarily. Concessions may be given to the prosecution on the basis of the evidence, but where was this amputee’s incentive to kill the woman? He had everything to lose, unlike partisans, who are forced to utilize violence for autonomy, or to act against tyranny, and did lose it, his disability making him patently more vulnerable than a typical murderer, however that is defined in South Africa. My aunt argued with me about the case, equating Pistorius’ alleged fear of black crime as Americans would fear it in inner city Philadelphia, or the Bronx, or St. Louis, or Compton. The difficulty with this line of reasoning is that Africa is primarily populated by indigenous black natives, with allowances made for various Nubian populations, Africa belongs to black Africans. Europeans could not achieve in Africa what they achieved in the Northern Hemisphere, and into the sewer it goes, yesterday’s news pitted against a rare exceptionalism in a broken body made better than ableism through technical improvements on the bipedal biology. I wish reporters would follow up on these issues more often. If Pistorius is killed in maximum security because of his developmental birth defects, I doubt the Steenkamp family would find closure in a hypocritical justification. I am not excusing the man. He was a rare cross over hero against a majority that is so conflicted about deformities and damage in the first place, on one level just another he man venting misogyny, on the other, just another monkey who couldn’t be trust out of his cage. Flesh eating bacteria makes headlines because it is swift, and echoes pandemics of yore, if it isn't the opening salvo of the next. Complex mammals have few defenses against it; cases seem to be on the rise, and we've earned it, battling too hard against death as a natural process. My return will contain more of my leg crossing unpleasantness, terrain I've waded in before. We'll see whose stomach recoils first.

Applicable Meaning

"After nearly sixteen years since 9/11, Americans are weary of war without victory." --Donald Trump, dissembling in chief

One of my list files on twitter, which the administrators briefly interfered with, until they were assured the dowager wasn't going to engage in mortal combat with Ciccariello-Maher, a visiting professor at Drexel who should be stripped of his doctorate, not for his speech but for foolhardiness, is Adversaries, and a former NASA astronaut like Mark Kelly doesn't quite belong there, in a queasy tinge, but I am not quite sure what to do with him. If I had an equivalent political partner who was shot in the head, one who will spend the rest of her life in special needs, I too might develop mission fervor with a political action committee. One thing both NRA loyalists and libertarians should acknowledge is that guns are dangerous, as do other mortals, including Senator Toomey, and I appreciate his courage to stand with the Sandy Hook families, as no right is inalienable. I am not even sure I believe in human rights, but that contention is too broad, at least for this morning. It is equally true that I have distaste for Kelly's Responsible Solutions PAC, and blocked them. The rhetoric is holier than thou, and no one has a perfect pitch on perspective. Ciccariello-Maher survived his senseless provocation-- and yes, his tweets backfired because all they did was arouse, and that doesn't help. I might not either, but at least I have my context, and rather serious grievances behind that context, but I am not sure what makes Maher's raconteur tendencies any different than Durden's. I tweeted, and stand by, the sense that Carlson was slightly too self-righteous. Bigoted as I may be, I live in a black city, and being black in Philadelphia, in 3 out of 4 instances, translates into agrarian limitations obvious to anyone in the professional class. Let me state, emphatically, that I am not Durden's ally, and she isn't about to sympathize with my excoriating attacks on black arrogance. I'm posting, merely, that she paid a heavy price for that interview, which was really nothing more than her advocacy for blacks speaking for themselves. The disabled do this all the time. No one calls savants racists for self-congregating. It isn't like she was advocating a black militia movement.

Storey's tweets, on the other hand, were indicative of something else. Between the lines, he was weary of teaching, and shot his barbs into a real time event which has caused loss of life, and he might have held back, written a satirical opinion. The Republican Party isn't a monster simply because of Trump's alt.right revolt, and as Phillips source says, people don't do things like that, in the middle of a tragedy, in real time feed. Yet Palin's case against the Times was dismissed. I have not studied this. I don't have the time to back track every factual point, read the briefs, but from what established media has presented, in its examination, persuaded me Governor Palin had a case. I agreed with Wemple that there may have been an actual malice standard. Rakoff's ruling catches me by surprise.

Early on between 10 and 12, I voiced some criticism of Palin on twitter. The Atlantic's profile of her governorship spiraled into a damaged show horse nominee the media virtually pillaged, perhaps deservedly. Recently, I swung my battleship, and I'm following her, probably going to write a post, send it to her site, or a contact submittal, and see what happens. Maybe nothing, but Palin's sensibility as an independent wife and mother resonate more sympathetically, after my tribulations. My point, however, is, the First Amendment is, in essence, meaningless, at least, if we examine these examples.

Walking Back

My conclusion in Applicable is too broad. Neither my ISP nor Google have to tolerate that my anger veers toward being nothing more than threat rhetoric, of course, however much I pull it back for the sake of what else I'm doing aesthetically, but I suppose, if no incorporated entity is beholden to constitutionally protected speech, and social media companies fall into that category, then I'm questioning what the First Amendment actually protects, as it has no power to rectify, in and of itself, loss of economic freedom. We'll continue to chip at it, categorically.

Kick Start Ignitition

The racial conversation we're having today is tribalistic--  JD Vance

Why do individuals do things detrimental to their own welfare? Because in asking a new security guard, sleeping in the lobby, for help, a tuft of fur gets pulled out of the castor, and the annihilator within feels guilty? There is a black guy with a flexed spastic arm, Charles. Typical inner city low life with whom invalids strike up angry conversations about black viciousness, remembering his name. Spastic purchased a cup of coffee for him, and will receive nothing in return for doing so. Charles looked stoned, beat, held the door, came in behind the Jazzy, eyed with suspicion by the Pakistanis who work the franchise. He had to be vouched for, even as those same Pakistanis are solicitous of the invalid. She pays her bill, offers to call the police when minority swill start making trouble, and in her density and genius, bought VUSE vibe cartridges without realizing a different battery will be needed for them. A screw in, maybe next month, not that retailers, whether Asian or Pakistan, know their own products, and I'll have to haggle but desire to try it. RJ Reynolds will, ultimately, be the death of me.

I did not feel altruistic being nice to Charles, anymore than I was awarded being nice to Rick, the jagged ass in 1015, especially when I am a foot and half in the gutter, ready to be broken by (ineffectual?) murderous aggression towards those of Charles' ethnicity who have humiliated me with impunity. You do not see the savage vitriol of my interior rhetoric, and no, it doesn't have to be spelled out, though the detail has been flirted with, etched in hydrochloric acid more likely to debilitate a life long rabid palsy further than achieve any scarring for life on the perpetrator. Did I get the idea from an SVU rape victim? Not that I can recall, but images from serials cannot be discounted, particularly a brutal M-5 story out of Britain which may be a PBS distribution, come and gone.

So desperate to beat the system, to climb back, to go where Jeffrey Brown would fear to tread. Is his equanimity still admired? His eulogy to his dead colleague, her endometrial battle, was low key, more honest than the rest, the insufferable tributes. A symbiotic parasite, recognized, still, a quadriplegic who would wipe out a significant portion of humanity, was kind; it certainly wasn't the Catholic in me, and in real time, Joan Tarshis and I are having a quibble, or not, about an Andrew Sullivan metric I'm not going to bother to read. It is too obvious. She objects to my use of numerals in a tweet. Which one of us is likely to die first? The woman raped by a nigger with failing eyesight? The quadriplegic assaulted by a nigger who did a two year prison term?

Grand Bargin

If I feel the need to revert back to form and toss some virulence around here and there in my death spiral, I'll make a gentleman's agreement not to tweet any frothing incivility and then wait to see if Google suspends me with assurances that "no content will be deleted". I've nothing particular in mind other than the knowledge I'm going down in flames. If a cop kills me accidentally, a "disabled lives matter" doesn't seem so satisfyingly chic as the other matters trending. 

Too Late Baby

The longer I remain at Riverside Presbyterian, the harder it becomes to hold myself together; if I give my notice the city will be forced to scrape me off the sidewalk unless I become dazzlingly clever, but the longer I stay the more difficult curbing my anger becomes. To stop living manufactured illegality and the intimidation of deliberate, or intentional bull dykes like Debra Horne remains difficult when fear and its past is omnipresent, but what I have been dancing around is responsibility for incitement when one's personal hell is the knowledge that ambition can no longer beat biology, and I'll probably die indigent, in more pain than I deserve, because social services is fucked, and nothing I can write, investigate, repairs this for me. Can't beat the clock, and the supervisor who hurts others remains secure, while I face incarceration because I'm furious enough for a jail cell on short time, at least before I'm forced on oxygen, should we get that far.

Yes, I know the drill, but Trudy Richardson has succeeded in pissing me off enough that the owners under Presby's corporate umbrella will soon make me someone else's problem. Do I blame myself for grinding the axe on my family? I do not know, but I'm defeated, whether or not I'm now criminally liable. No one would obey me because I'm pissed. I just wish I had understood the bullshit in the Waiver system sooner, did something, and I had hoped to control my ex to that end. Barring a miracle, I don't have a way out, even if I find a creative way to still have legal standing to sue Pennsylvania into perpetuity.

When is it puree?

"They later reversed the policy." --Judy Woodruff on Facebook and beheading videos

Elonis v US brings together a number of tawdry elements which eventually leads to enlightenment in civil and criminal code, just as the Web is under no obligation to grant the indignation of my extensive disability and my forceful rhetoric tolerance: it is actually a reflection of my reality in the temporal world. I'm needy, and my oral stream is, can be, selfish absorption, but just as this is the case for me, so it is for Anthony Elonis-- but there are differences, and in the Elonis case, the difference is the real toll domestic violence, the possibility of it, inflicts on women, to a near universal degree, sans Janay Rice, versus Elonis need to act out with his impulse control issues (just as some of you may feel I simply derive pleasure from being malicious and have no redeeming value in my content, am far too eclectic, perhaps even nullifying, if you shouldn't be worried about my zealotry with age). Well, my hypothetical detractors have a point. Search is under no obligation to refer my content in the public domain if it is too negative. I can go back to my diary and publish a nihilist rant for kindle which would sell for nothing. Google, Poets & Writers, the literature forum, the NYT online book forum formerly with Mick Sussman which I really enjoyed and forget why I dared the emperor of American liberalism with a dirty ditty, starved as I am for fine discernment, all were within their rights, and Blogger has allowed me to throb, mostly, to its credit, because I've held at least a certain degree of puerile sentiment back, partly fear, partly the knowledge I have more ambition than that, and doing my best not to let my landlord roll me out in a straight jacket-- though it may eventually come to that.

Elonis, however, is simply puerile. But why does he need to do this on Mark Zuckerberg's digital interactive yearbook which has everyone's CV barring mine? He could write a private blog and invite other men to fantasy with semi-automatics. My outrage is due to the knowledge of my legal passivity: I was afraid to fight, one, and that a litigator would not help me, and secondly, I wasn't just screwed, I was royally so and everything in my present environment recollects it: Blogger let me find the courage to have a small effect, but what do we do when people who can take it in to their head to act if they are incited to do so? Mrs. Elonis has the right to her personal security, and bad systems that become intrenched, if targeted by violence, not only escalates tragedy, but escalates the fact that we need to teach each other about over reach. Progressives bear the brunt of my anger. They told me I could succeed and it is through hard won insight discovered that they are lying Stalinists, but the right gets some too. Property ownership is still more important than anything else-- we'll come back to this. People have the right to their rage, and to their intolerances even, and fantasies, but writing as therapy, on the merits, need not have absolute access to all platforms. I'd never write a project like this in an online yearbook-- and you don't have to read my posts when I feel a ventilation, not that I know what your kids think, though I can guess. I couldn't help laughing at Judy's language that evening. ISIS in the modern world is horrific, and ghoulishly macabre. It isn't the kind of diet we really need, however. We have the movies, and the right to bear arms.