The Complicity of Noor Salman

 Omar Mateen was gay

How long have the lockdowns been bouncing on the heads of our supposedly free societies now? Six months? For more than three years, I have not been able to brew my Krups Automated Drip of my own volition, quite an older model, without significant duress. I cannot cook or prepare my own food spontaneously, this now being the provenance of jamboree man, as I now call him, my little niggardly music man, father driving me back to the city directing my gaze from the passenger side, “Look at that,” he says with subdued emphasis, my eyes following toward a broken gimp of a black man pushing a battered wheelchair with an equally feral white woman in it. With the grace of God, this is the suffering and persecution imposed on me now, stomach distended with acid reflux, but never mind that. How often can I post about the forced imposition of helplessness making me convulse excrement in pain due to medical model indifference? If I want a particular book out of my personal library, I cannot readily access a significant portion of my titles, or my own hard copy manuscripts, my revisions to my nearly ready to publish collections locked away, one failed hard drive after another, doubtful there is any meaningful way to right myself with any positive assertion of who Joanne Marinelli was, at her best, as I hurdle maybe, past sixty years into a leaden despair as numb as that ostracized street couple. True despair is no empathy, no feeling, no remorse, a lack of guilt, except for being still young enough to be struck by ironic moments only relevant to me: a dissection on the series Deadly Motives of Omar Mateen, the worst mass murderer in American history, second only to Stephen Paddock. For those of you who do not view True Crime Network as a learning tool, (and actually I do, getting past the macabre, the crime scene photos, I learn a good deal, about local color, and the Orwellian sometimes ineffectual nature of policing and investigation) Deadly Motives tries very hard to ration out redemption as if it was part and parcel of an Oxycontin epidemic. The daughter of The Happy Face Killer hosts the series, driving to and fro, to the families of victims, to the relatives of the killers, and Sitora Yusufiy is no exception, except there is something off in her expiations relative to this Afghan man she wed so briefly, caught between worlds. I am not sure she has enough social sophistication to truly understand homosexual masking in Western society.

In my anger at Liberty Resources, I concede that I took the Pulse slaughter out of context, but what I told this city’s center, nonetheless, was an accurate warning. Exiles of independent living culture often invest in this culture as the only family we have, and if its manifest corruption continues on as part of the status quo, eventually Hamlet will keep repeating itself, whether or not civilians in the modern hook up culture were felled by triggers we’re reluctant to look at too closely, and I have a rather blunt suggestion, one which belies my former intellectual aspirations, now besieged and harassed by Waiver compliance demands, stop attempting to assimilate such deeply entrenched Islamic nationals to secular methodologies. Institutionalism fared quite poorly in the aftermath of this shooting. The Department of Justice overplayed its need to convict Noor as an accessory, the media didn’t unravel the triggers or the character, and the gay community in Orlando was left stricken, paralyzed, despite progressive tsunami waves against populism.

Northward from Barbary Coast

Perhaps they had already been corrupted.-- a contributor to New York Magazine on the Taliban, 18 years ago, give or take.

What I haven't dwelt on very successfully, in relation to how I utilized Omar Mateen's autonomic act of terror , unlike Linda Sarsour in Aurora, interestingly enough, is my own level of complicity, and I am not sure I can resolve that, no matter how direct and on point I am. For my internalized dynamics, there is relatively little harm in that; for the country at large, this may be another matter, and with or without Donald Trump, the American left will one day have an uneasy reckoning, its ideology a series of contradictions, such that conservatives may weaken, but will always have grounds on which to reemerge.

Literature and movies, featured video of poverty stricken concrete sublets, never really assisted me in the comprehension of modern Afghan and Pakistani tribalism, and I have always been of two mindsets: civilization is better off without the Pashtun, and the Pashtun have survival skills which are useful in the event of a mass extinction, and if I want boundaries, these tribes have them in spades. They also bred into Sicilian and Roman bloodlines, as Rome evolved into the Byzantine, hence many Italians have Arabic trace elements in their provincialism, which is obviously digressing. It is easier to turn on the World Series, resign oneself to the dominance of the Dodgers, than dwell on these moral dilemmas and latent hostility toward those that challenge gender, defy the reality of biology itself, and at the same time tremble at savages who more rightly belong in Ashoka's era . There is no question that Mateen's shooting gallery was and is beyond comprehension. To make a primitive analogy, if I rolled into a room of 1500 case managers and took out 75 of them as targets, it wouldn't send any kind of message about radical obstetrics and quality of life. It is an indiscriminate behavior which actually makes it more difficult to close ranks against hedonism. Andrew Sullivan's solution to that was an appropriation, gay marriage. It won't settle the question anymore than the incautious utterances of Pope Francis, a weak leader who one day 18 months ago made me squeal in private exuberance when he liked my response, and then me weep in rare excess, a grave sin committed in my disrespect, as the atheist in me scuttles under the bed. Any Catholic reading this would scold me not to disavow my faith simply to be a smartass. He would be a better leader if he harvested such teachings gleaned from centuries, as opposed to diluting doctrine to appease the left, and if we're tone deaf, perhaps we have to be, and not out of selfishness.

Some of you may believe I am walking myself back from sometimes explosive vitriol because my father, and particularly Mainline Medical, run by my uncle, destroyed my independence at the request of the Negro Public Housing Alliance, and if I read this anonymous portion of my audience correctly, you're right, but I haven't altered in a certain sense of hardened conviction, only that Mateen was nonsensical, counterproductive, and he may have killed people who might have rejected the excesses of the sexual revolution. I have known many in the gay community, and just because my contempt with two of them led me to a temper, it doesn't mean I regale bloodbaths. But this doesn't mean national conscience is settled with the affair.

Walken's Dark Liturgy

Sensibilita was at the heart of Futurism's main objectives--Futurism and the Technological Imagination, p.63

I made a genealogical error here and not a soul corrected me, neither the irritable Transcendentalists at Niume, nor in my nastier Twitter comfort zone. John Carradine was David's father. I mixed the lineage up, inadvertently. The dowager thought Cassidy was David's sire, but I was thinking of David Cassidy when he was my fake rock idol fuckable back in the day, and I mean that in all affection. Fuckable is softer: The Partridge Family may have been a crock-a-too, but my palpitations went soft for groove boy junior with his shag. That was our hairstyle. I decided to barrel some quick revisions into "John Carradine in Milan" and submit it to a pay-mart. Shouldn't take me more than 72 hours, but I bristle defensively at every editor to the right of the owner's booth at the Stanley Cup finals: I am not deleting this post my my account. I will take it off Niume, but not here. I am going to die soon, and Google must not extinguish this legacy, regardless of its antithetical umbrage with the ferocity of what I hate. Liberals made me promises and destroyed me, and I may get myself in trouble with Sanders' operatives if they do not vanish from my junk mail address. I regret supporting Obama, even in the face of his opponent's evident Sundown Syndrome, but I have to own the aging 08 anomaly at the primaries searching for difference. It was a failure. I regret Trump too, but his protective detail didn't haul me out of Riverside for telling the brash New York personality to get his fucking act together, and I respect that. If I had tilted at Barack one could only imagine my inconvenience, but Obama isn't a true African American, as has been noted. He is half Kenyan and half Caucasian Communist, and we used to black ball individuals like his fast and loose deceased mamma. Perhaps the CIA gave her cancer, as she was a really loose-cannon radical, from what ?I've gleaned: I have to own I hoped in this poor boy whose identity is in the vapor of a cirrus cloud, but Sanders's operatives are either going to get the fuck out of my virtual space or report me to the FBI field office again(?) I am not positive that Liberty's firm in Jersey actually had me flagged on an FBI alert: I told the CIL if someone like Omar Mateen came after them, I'd be ecstatic, and they prohibited me further contact. I threw my trauma they inflicted on me in Nancy's voice mail (she and I know each other by sight, not well). The prohibition vanished, as I did not say I'd be their Omar, only that IL will one day face what he represents if they do not start learning to be accountable for their institutional cruelty and racism. Whether my viewers are American, and are familiar with our rampage culture, or not: this will be the next shock, the next grief, the next battle with the NRA's money and stiff necked reliance-- a CIL will one day buy it because of what they do to the formerly indoctrinated such as I. NCIL has to put a stop to this if they want to save lives, and if I live long enough Congress is going to change the law. I am not the only one traumatized by IL assurances which flip on a dime, when statements like "you can always come back" actually mean "you will get an interview and then be ostracized the rest of your life." This behavior can kill people, especially those with sensory deprivation and limb impairments. Sanders organization culled me from OFA. I intend to make them regret it, like Walkens' Gabriel makes Simon regret impalement. The first in The Prophecy franchise did have an aspirational, liturgical hope, and even if I am a female, the Holy Father may find, to his astonishment, that I'm the Tuscan Joan d'Arc, a ferocious inquisitor who thinks the rack is rather beneficial.