Sunday, October 14, 2012

Subjective Innocence

Spielberg's A.I. is also an allegorical indictment of liberalism, whether the limpid blockbuster director intended it as such, or not. The denouement of the film was a failure, and Haley Joel Osment's rise as a child star marked my own denouement as a movie viewer on the traditional big screen, as The Sixth Sense and A.I. bookend the last gasp of any positive outlook I attempted to cling to as I entered my fortieth decade. I had previously bookmarked the film in my head as one relevant for my purposes, but it is on my local UHL this afternoon, as it happens, so I might as well refresh myself on the poignancy of human loss which Spielberg highlights, even as humanity faces cessation.

I decided to put in my adoption papers for kimmy, after a lengthy and weary self-argument; in the balance, my despair juxtaposed against economic rationalism. I fear not keeping pets more than my need to reduce expenses, whether or not this means I have purchased my social ostracization as valid because I am, ipso facto, unbalanced; it is more and less than this, however, in that I have losses too, and my only real defense against this, is Jerry's old maxim, via Heidegger, to "focus on the things themselves," and so now I will study Joan of Arc. I used this poor woman of Lorraine as a faulty symbol in my quite desperate poem I wrote about Linda and the ideology, called "My Patron Saint".

(I understood why I wrote the poem; it was a desperate lunge against my impending financial ruin, and in the back of my mind, even then, my subconscious was warning me that I trusted this former supervisor at my peril. I should have never shown her my work, ever, among other things).

I toy with the idea of revising it, savagely. Right now I need coffee, and breakfast.

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