Suge Knight may not know my neighbors

Not sure why Acquired Deficiency received as many views as it did. Beneath the surface I miss my blunt idealism, and, at least when he wasn't posting about his co-habitation conflicts (noting that I have not been honorably reticent toward my ex Frank either) I was moved by Andrew Sullivan's sincerity. What the fuck else to deem it of course he cannot possibly engage in high risk sexual activity with his partner but how can they be celibate?

Terribly prurient on my part while I busied myself nagging this homosexual again, politely, because I wish to now get involved in state politics. What is troubling me is that my callous indifference is no longer a game of pretend: I cannot read Andrew Sullivan's posts about his dead dogs without a sniff of recoiling malaise, imagining Sponge Bob, and taking a tip from Charles Lane on the urethra and orgasm, holding a little urine helps me remember engorged penises are wondrous. Charles Lane is a television critic. I know nothing about the book. I'm being manipulative. I am also not really me anymore, cherishing next to nothing about the life I've lived, and I'll never get it back, the belief that I have a future, that I'm relevant, that love is a splendid thing, that the love of my life exists, that I can be made love with and enjoy it. Jude Law is what the evolutionary gay dandy was probably designed to be, the girl boy who could tap dance to vaginal victory before those with more masculine definition. My femininity, feminine confidence, started to collapse when I was 42, when I saw Frank naked. You have no idea what lengths revulsion takes you to when a more attractive supervisor demolishes your ego.

Getting better involved getting out, and I may possibly be too scarred emotionally and mentally at this point. 

Correction: Why I substituted Charles Lane for Hank Stuever might pose a challenge to even the most stalwart psychoanalyst. Perchance a preference .for Lane's strident masculine concerns over Stuever's analysis of women and their interests, but let the gaffes be fruitful.