Kidman Arc

I hope that Nicole Kidman is not a Scientologist, like her unfortunate ex-husband, because her artistry is more interesting than Tom's, more sinister and intriguing, offering something for a contemporary woman to chaw, even in watered down vehicles like Birthday Girl, a story line too improbable, though she can be applauded for ambiguity. I myself have closer ties to Jodie Foster's man girl obstinacy, and Foster consumed many of my earlier posts on this project. I am not yet satisfied, but grew up with Foster, as opposed to Kidman. Nicole has had currency, more than a decade of it; my perspective on her is still that of a shiny coin, because I am rapidly aging beyond relevancy, and if I should make it to my 70's, like my dialectical rival, of whom I look nothing like, I will be worse, perchance gone baby gone, a freak show like this curiously ugly and gritty little Affleck vehicle, minus Harris and Freeman, and that, simply because these veterans are too well branded, this film is one of those that tells the truth about the hard core underside of dealers, perverts, steaming like hot dung, and thus, hard to watch even without an X-rating.

Is my ongoing battle a disease? Who knows? But if I do not wage it, I have only myself to blame, and my first protest missive has hit the postal service, so I cannot turn back. My father's sister raises her voice that I need to let this go, but I cannot, I am sorry. I want some justice for my old age, something, some small victory for a literary artist's autonomy, a cry for freedom, real freedom, yes, and I should have waged this war in the strength of my 30's. I may pay a price still more undeserved, I may be dismissed, and I am a little scared, but between Liberty Resources and PresbyHomes I have been forced to digest rust for 28 years, a vibrant woman of promise, I am now broken, and the system can break me more, I have no illusions about that, but I am not going down in compliant humility to Pennsylvania's social service system. I will not and I cannot. But by the same token, age marginalizes the marginalized more. I will not live much longer than Vassar. She died with a tube in her stomach. No one will do that to me.